Jessica Horton: Here I Am Lord

Jessica Horton
Jessica Horton Photo by Kim Lancaster-Brantley

“I will go, Lord, if you lead me.”

As someone who has struggled with anxiety her whole life, I know the massive distress we can feel
reaching out of our comfort zones.

When God moved me into the “spotlight,” so to speak, I had so many
objections. I’m not pretty enough. People will talk about my weight. What if I’m not good enough? What if
people notice how painfully awkward I am? Will they still like me the more they get to know me? Will they
notice how I stutter when I get stressed?

In Luke 22:42 Jesus prayed a prayer that I relate to on so many levels. He said, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me.” Wow.

Granted, His prayer came from a place of such despair and suffering that you and I will never understand. But Jesus Himself knows what it feels like to want out of an uncomfortable situation. He knows our anguish and how things can tear us apart on the inside. But then He turns His conversation from a pleading prayer of escape to an unyielding prayer of surrender when He continues, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done.”

Jessica HortonThis is the key to saying yes to God,
especially when He leads us out of our comfort zones. We have to surrender our own will to God’s and
trust Him to provide and see us through to the end.

He never promised us a life of perpetual ease and comfort. But He does promise to work all things together for the good of those who love Him and respond to His direction (Romans 8:28). We have to be willing to compromise, and sometimes abandon, our own comfort to carry out the plans of God.

We can’t do this life ourselves. When we do, we get it all wrong and increase our suffering unnecessarily.
We also don’t have all the abilities to accomplish what He asks. But there are so many characters in scripture that show us that our shortcomings don’t phase the will of God in any way. In fact, it’s when we come to the end of our own abilities that God is most glorified.

It doesn’t matter if I struggle to speak or if I say something weird or if I have a character trait that annoys someone. God knows exactly who I am, and He knows what He has created me to do. My job is to. surrender When we practice surrender, we learn to become less self-reliant, we run more speedily to the Father for direction, and we become more eager to go wherever He leads.

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your love for us. We are so broken and needy, yet You care about every concern. God, give
us the same love for one another that You have for us, so that that we wouldn’t dare hold back from your
invitations to serve and tell the world about You. We love You. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Jessica HortonScriptures:
John 17:20-26
Matthew 28:19-20
Acts 13:47
Romans 10:13-14
Psalm 96:3
Joshua 1-9

By Jessica Horton

Find out more about Jessica HERE on Facebook or HERE online.

Jessica Horton is a singer/songwriter from Columbus, MS. She was raised in classic country and gospel, and the soul and sound of these classics often find their way into her music. Her songs feature the acoustic guitar, dobro, mandolin, and other roots instruments. On stage, Jessica brings a live aspect to her show by playing guitar and including singable old-time hymns and gospel songs. Offstage, Jessica spends a lot of time with her husband, David and her church family. She serves as a worship leader and youth director at Shaeffer’s Chapel United Methodist Church in Columbus, MS… (for more click here.)

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This devotion was based on the following modern hymn:
Here I Am, Lord
I the lord of sea and sky
I have heard my people cry
All who dwell in dark and sin
My hand will save
I have made the stars of night
I will make their darkness bright
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall i send?
Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night
I will go Lord
If You lead me
I will hold Your people in my heart
I the lord of wind and flame
I will tend the poor and lame
I will set a feast for them
My hand will save
Finest bread i will provide
Till their hearts be satisfied
I will give my life to them
Whom shall i send?